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Shifting Sands (Working Title)

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Post by BSmith Fri May 22, 2009 2:46 am

So, I am in the process of writing a novel. I figure I might post the chapters up here, one by one, as they are completed, and allow commentary. What say you?


MAJOR THANKS TO NORAD for letting me use both of his characters (Lucha and Khalise) and also for inspiring the opening!!


Last edited by BSmith on Fri May 22, 2009 3:10 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Zhan Dathka Fri May 22, 2009 2:47 am

Shifting Sands (Working Title) Aragorn+Aragorn+!!!!!!!!!

WHAT SAY YOU?!
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Post by BSmith Fri May 22, 2009 2:55 am

I'll take that as a yes. XD

Anyway, the preface, quickly. READ THIS:

A brief overview of the races that inhabit Seredel:

Humans - Humans are by far the most populous of the races, inhabiting a vast majority of the world, from Tundara in the north to Grimguld in the south, from Palmira in the east to Crosel in the west. Next to the Aldryn, they are the youngest race to inhabit Seredel, yet the most vain, and their arrival has brought nothing but conflict to the world.

Dragons - Dragons are intelligent, bipedal, and covered with a thick hide that once rendered them impervious to most weapons. But as skirmishes broke out between Dragons and Humans, the Humans began to develop new, sharper weapons that would pierce this hide. Obsidian is the most commonly-used material for these weapons, as it seems to slice through Dragonskin like butter. Next to Avelords, Dragons are the eldest and wisest race on Seredel, and can live for hundreds of years. Standing at about double the height of an average Human, they are formidable creatures, and can support this image with their immense strength and the ability to breathe fire. Dragons do not have vocal cords like other creatures, instead communicating through a form of telepathy in which they can “speak” their thoughts to those around them, or focus the thought and have a private conversation with an individual. Dragons also have the ability to morph into a Humanoid form, though they are easily distinguishable from real Humans, and do not use this skill often; Dragons see Humans as inferior beings. They are extremely proud creatures, and will not hesitate to exile one of their own for the slightest offenses to their race.

Aldryn - An Aldryn is the commonly-used term to describe the strange creatures that are crosses between two races. They have no true form, instead somehow inhabiting two bodies at once, and changing between them at will. Slight imperfections make an Aldryn just barely discernable from the real thing, usually a pair of glistening, pupil-less eyes. The most common form of Aldryn is that of a Dragon/Human; there are, however, many different kinds of Aldryn, each a specific cross between two of Seredel’s races, and therefore each with a different set of traits. The Aldryn arrived on the scene shortly after the Humans did, and put an end to the Dragon-Human war by giving them a common enemy to unite against - the strange cross between two very different races made the Humans envious and the Dragons disturbed. Aldryn are commonly seen as monstrosities, though they are highly intelligent and more in tune with the world than any other race.

Elves - The Elves of Seredel are not the fair creatures of lore; these Elves are sinister, vile beings that live in forests and caves. Though roughly Human in appearance, they have dark, wrinkled skin and fangs like a vampire’s. They are both proud and vicious and will not hesitate to attack any non-Elf that strays into their midst. In fact, the only thing remotely similar between the Elves of Seredel and those of fairy tales is their mastery of the bow and arrow. The Forest Elves and Cave Elves have been at war for as long as anyone can remember, each seeing the other as a gross misrepresentation of their race. They have also been known to tame wyverns: creatures similar to Dragons, though they walk on four legs, are unable to breathe fire, and are by no means as intelligent. In effect, wyverns are simply flying horses.

Makarai - Dive deep below Seredel’s oceans and you may very well stumble across a settlement of Makarai. They are almost shark-like in appearance, with a tubular body and rows of razor-sharp fangs, though with long fins that act as arms and a bulbous head almost resembling that of a Human. Their body is covered in a slimy film that lets them slide through the water at astounding speeds. They are a hideous yet peaceful race, though interaction between them and any other race is rare; a Makar has the ability to breathe above water for a short time (similar to any other race holding their breath underwater), but for the most part, they prefer to remain safe in their villages at the bottom of the sea. The Makarai are the only race on Seredel that does not speak Serenese, instead communicating through a series of high-pitched whistles, almost similar to the noises of dolphins.

Avelords - Birdlike and the size of a crow, Avelords have long wings that, when spread, nearly double the length of their bodies. From behind they can be mistaken for a common bird, but not from the front, for they have snouts instead of beaks. They come in a variety of mostly soft hues - purples, blues, blacks - the exact shade denoting how long the Avelord has been alive: they can live for thousands of years, and every few centuries they molt, changing the color of their plumage. They are the wisest and most knowledgeable creatures on the planet, with a love for storytelling. As such, they have become the historians of Seredel, though none of their stories have ever been written down, as Avelords have a tremendous memory (and besides, wings aren’t very conducive to writing). Very few Avelords are still alive; they have become almost mythological, though one does pop up every now and then.

Shadow People - The dark and mysterious Shadow People live in the most perilous terrain in Seredel, places where no other beings dare to tread. They prefer to remain secluded, and for this reason almost nothing is known about them. It is not even known what they are actually called; “Shadow People” is simply the name given to them by the other races.
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Post by BSmith Fri May 22, 2009 3:08 am

SHIFTING SANDS (Working Title)

Chapter 1


A hoarse, hissing cry rent the air above the burning sands of the Palmira desert, accompanied by the soft swoosh of giant, beating wings. Khalise arced leisurely into a canyon, his large wings navigating his body around its twists and hairpin turns. A few moments later, the great Dragon emerged from the ravine, spun and glided upside-down, his black scales gleaming in the radiance of the mid-afternoon sun, before turning and speeding off across the desert.

He cried out again, his eerie howl likely chilling the blood of any foreigners who happened to be in the vicinity. The nomad tribes he watched over trusted him far more than other Humans, though most saw him only as a protector, not a friend. There are exceptions to every rule, however, and to this one there was the Rahkal tribe. Khalise knew he was nearing the Rahkal village when he spotted the bones of the last two week’s meals scattered across the ground below. If there was one thing that irked him about the Rahkals, it was their messiness. Still, they were the only people anywhere who would welcome him as part of the family.

As the Rahkal village came into view over the horizon, Khalise made a few more spirals, savoring the feeling of flight. The freedom it offered never got old. He eventually came to rest on a rock formation a few hundred yards from the village, his customary spot. He courteously waited a few minutes to see if anyone would spot him; when no one did, he lifted his head and bellowed loudly, his draconic voice echoing like the tolling of a great bell. Now aware of his presence, a few of the village men came out of their huts. Alongside them was a young girl, hurrying towards the base of his perch. Khalise would have smiled at the sight of her, had his current physiology allowed it. Unfolding his wings, it took two mighty flaps to lift him into the air, where he glided down to meet her.

As he neared the ground there was a bright flash, and with a faint whoosh, the Dragon was gone. In its place was a male Human in his mid-twenties, messy black hair blowing in the breeze as the two smaller wings on his back bore him safely to the desert below. The girl skidded to a stop in front of him.

“Hello Lucha-” Khalise began amiably, his solid gray eyes glittering warmly, but she cut him off.

“Khalise! You’re late!” She scolded playfully. She was a pretty girl in the height of her adolescence, her tanned face framed nicely by two black braids. She wore the traditional garb of her tribe: a patterned leather vest over a pale yellow tunic. And, if Khalise’s memory served him well, she was turning seventeen today.

“Just checking up on some bandits I put a scare into the other day,” Khalise said, pulling his black cape a little tighter over his shoulders and beginning to stride towards the two men waiting for them closer to the village. “They’re still too petrified to come out of their den.” He shot the girl a sideways smile and Lucha grinned. Khalise suspected she thoroughly enjoyed having a friend who could transform into a terrifying Dragon.

“It’s your birthday today, isn’t it?” he said suddenly, and she grinned even wider. “I brought you something.” From underneath his cloak, Khalise drew a small orb, the size of an apple, which glowed with a warm orange radiance. Lucha gasped and held out her hands.

“Is that...?” Her voice trailed off as Khalise dropped the orb into her hands. It was warm to the touch.

“A Salamander egg,” Khalise confirmed, “Straight from a nest in the Dakarama Mountains.”

“Oh my gosh, Khalise, thank you so much!” She threw her arms around the Aldryn’s neck. “You know I’ve always wanted one!” Khalise chuckled.

“Just be careful with it when it hatches, though - you don’t want to accidentally burn down the village.”

“I know! I’ll take good care of it, you’ll see.”

As they approached the huts that marked the beginning of the Rahkal village, Lucha’s father, a large man named Fuers, stepped forward and slapped the Aldryn on the back. Khalise responded by punching him in the chest, and Fuers smirked.

“Still as tough as ever, I see.” He jerked his head towards the village. “C’mon, you two.” Looking at him, Khalise had to wonder how a man like Fuers could have produced a child as delicate-looking as Lucha… though, Khalise knew, Lucha was anything but delicate. Fuers was taller than Khalise, at least in human form, and very obviously muscled. His arms were decorated with the scars of many battles, and his piercing brown eyes felt like they bore into your soul. His black mane was tied back in a single long ponytail, as many of the Rahkal men wore their hair.

“Go on in!” Fuers called heartily as they neared his hut, “Pyna has prepared a special meal for Lucha’s birthday.”

Within a few minutes, the four were seated around the table that comprised half of the small hut that Lucha’s family called home. The other half was taken up by the three mats upon which they slept.

“So, Khalise,” Fuers was saying, “I’ve always meant to ask you: what’s your deal?”

“Fuers!” Lucha’s mother, Pyna, looked horrified.

“Relax,” Fuers said sternly, “I’m just wonderin’. I mean,” he turned back to Khalise, “you don’t need to protect us, we never asked you to. What’s in it for you?” Khalise looked down, chewing his food slowly as he contemplated his answer. Lucha furrowed her brow; she had never really questioned Khalise’s motives before. He was their protector, that’s all there was to it. She listened closely as Khalise finally spoke.

“I guess… for the same reason as my brother.”

“Lohkar?” Lucha had heard about Khalise’s brother Lohkar - he was the protector of the Palmiran nomad tribes long before Khalise. He had vanished, however, when Lucha was four years old, and Khalise took over his job.

“So then, why did Lohkar protect us?” Fuers persisted.

“He doesn’t have to explain himself if he doesn’t want to, Fuers.”

“Well it’s just not common for an Aldryn to be consortin’ with Humans, let alone protectin’ them.”

“So if he were a real Dragon it would be different?”

“No, look, I’m just curious, is all. No need to get so up in arms about it.”

“Look,” Khalise raised his hands, “I don’t rightly know why my brother was so intent on protecting you. I’m just his replacement.”

“So you don’t really care about us?”

“Fuers!”

And so it went, Lucha shooting Khalise a sly smile as her parents debated whether or not it was racist to ask Khalise his intentions. Khalise returned her grin with a slight chuckle. He knew Fuers meant well.

*****


It was an hour later, after two courses and dessert, when Khalise stepped out of the small hut into the glow of the evening sun. Lucha was just a few steps behind him.

“We better get going if I’m to take you flying, Lucha. The sun’s getting low.” Lucha had been begging for years to let Khalise take her flying, but her parents had forbidden it until now; it was her special birthday gift.

“Then hurry up and transform already!” She pouted a little. Khalise smiled as a gleaming white light emanated from his body, engulfing him and growing in size until it was about twice the height of a Human. A pair of great wings erupted from the brilliance as the light began to fade, revealing the noble black Dragon.

~How’s that?~ Khalise asked Lucha, through a form of telepathy singular to the Dragon tribes. Dragons did not have vocal cords as most creatures did, and therefore had to communicate through their thoughts. Khalise found it was an excellent means of correspondence, as it offered the ability to “focus” one’s thoughts directly at another creature and consequently have a private conversation, even in a crowd.

Khalise stooped low to the ground and spread his wings, allowing the Rahkal girl to clamber onto his back. With her parents watching nervously, he flapped his wings and lifted off into the air. After instructing Lucha to grab a hold of his dorsal spines, he made sure she had a firm grip before slowly coasting off towards the canyon.
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Post by BSmith Fri May 22, 2009 3:08 am

Chapter 1, continued



Lucha seemed slightly nervous at first, but gradually became used to the sensation of flight, and was soon urging Khalise to soar higher, faster, farther. He complied, looping and twisting into the air until the Rahkal village was nothing but a speck on the horizon. From below, the Aldryn’s antics may have elicited some raised eyebrows, but Khalise didn’t care. He was with the one person he truly considered a friend, and that was all that mattered.

Until they appeared.

The two friends had been flying for almost an hour, and the sun hung low in the sky, casting a warm orange glow across the desert. The pair was a few miles away from Lucha’s village, and Khalise had just finished an elaborate figure-eight loop, much to Lucha’s delight. As he was pulling out of the final dip, he spied something in the distant sky. Then two somethings. Then four, five, six... then hundreds. Thousands. Soon, the entire skyline was crowded with little black dots, distant figures speeding straight towards them. Khalise looked down; the ground was also flooded with dots, hundreds upon hundreds of horsemen, stampeding across the desert floor like an unstoppable tide.

“Hey Khalise,” Lucha called cheerfully, apparently not fully grasping the situation, “What are those things?”

~I don’t know, Lucha, but something tells me we’d better move!~ The black specks were rocketing towards them, faster than Khalise had ever seen any non-Dragon fly. ~Alright, I’m turning around; we need to... ah!~ He swerved violently, barely evading an arrow launched from the ground. Lucha screamed and Khalise flew higher, away from the bowmen below. The airborne figures were nearer now, and Khalise’s eyes could just make them out.

~Lucha! Wyverns! Hold on!~ The Aldryn banked hard, turning back towards the canyon.

“What’s happening, Khalise?” The Rahkal girl was frightened.

~I’m not entirely sure. We need to get out of here. Now!~ With a great cry, Khalise dove towards the shelter of the canyon, swerving to dodge the arrows that were becoming more and more numerous.

‘Why in the world are they attacking?’ Khalise thought to himself, ‘Just who are they?’ Suddenly a sharp pain erupted in his leg as a thrown javelin pierced his right knee from behind - the wyverns were in range. His flight path dipped as he struggled to maintain his balance through the fog of pain that was settling in. With a bitter shriek, a wyvern blasted past Khalise, its rider attempting to stick the Aldryn with his spear. Khalise tipped to the right to avoid him, momentarily forgetting about Lucha clinging to his back. She suddenly found herself sideways, and lost her grip.

With a startled cry, Lucha began plummeting towards the desert far below. An arrow whizzed by her ear as she fell faster and faster, the ground rapidly gaining in detail. She shut her eyes tight and muttered a small prayer, the tradition of the Rahkal tribe when in life-and-death situations. No sooner had the words left her lips than she felt herself jolt to a sudden stop. Lucha opened her eyes to see Dragon skin beneath her, and exhaled.

~Sorry about that,~ Khalise said, resuming his flight path towards the canyon.

The archers were gone now, the horses galloping off on their original course, but the wyverns were all around them, a writhing mass of beating wings and slashing spears. One of the beasts pulled even with Khalise and its rider brandished a sword, obviously intending to try and slice Lucha off his back.

‘No chance in hell,’ Khalise thought, turning his head and belching a ball of fire towards the armored figure. His mount screeched horribly as the scorching flames seared its flesh, bucking in agony and sending its rider flying from his saddle. The swordsman tumbled to the ground below, and moments later his wyvern followed suit, crashing violently into the desert sands.

Khalise nosedived as the canyon drew closer, swerving once or twice to avoid each new threat. A moment later they were in the gorge, the hundreds of wyverns still swarming overhead. A few attempted to follow the Aldryn, but Khalise knew the twists and turns of the canyon so intimately that the beasts were unable to keep up. A cave appeared to Khalise’s left and he banked into it, relieved to have found shelter. Inside, Lucha slipped off the Dragon’s back as he proceeded to painfully extract the javelin from his leg. As soon as the tip of the blade was wrested from his skin, a flash of light engulfed the cave and Khalise reverted to Human form, collapsing against the cave wall as his head swam from the pain.

“Are you okay?” Lucha asked, concerned.

“I’ll be fine Lucha, don’t worry. I just need to sit for a while.” This he did, and Lucha sat down next to him.

“Khalise... what’s going on? Who were those men? Bandits?”

“Absolutely not. They were too skilled and far too numerous to be bandits. Besides, what bandits have you ever encountered that could afford a full suit of armor... let alone a flock of bred-for-combat wyverns?” Lucha was silent for a moment and Khalise ventured a look at his leg. It was worse than he’d thought, his pants leg was already stained deep crimson. He would need to get back to the Rahkal village as soon as possible, they would have herbs there that would help the healing process.

“....The horsemen,” Lucha spoke after a long pause, “They were... they were headed in the direction of the village.” With a pang, Khalise realized she was right. “Do you think... do you think... Father and the others...?”

“I wouldn’t worry about Fuers, he can look after himself and then some.” All the same, Khalise was worried. Using a trick only the Aldryn knew, he extended his consciousness outwards, trying to sense the presence of the mighty warrior and his tribe. What he found was a complete absence of life in the immediate vicinity. This troubled him greatly: not only did it hint at a horrible fate for Fuers and the Rahkal, but Khalise knew he should have felt a blizzard of activity from the swarms of wyverns - there was no way they could have gotten that far in such a short time.

‘Living beings that do not exude a detectable life force? Something isn’t right...’

*****


Inside a small house on the outskirts of Delios, Malyk opened his eyes. It was light out.

'Did I oversleep again?' he thought. 'Ah, well, it's not like I've got anything important to do...' He sighed, shuffling into a sitting position on the mat of straw he used as a bed. Unconsciously, he ran a hand through the mess of blue hair atop his head. He hated the feel of it; he preferred scales to fur any day, but having been exiled to live among the Humans, he had been forced to adopt their visage. The people of Delios certainly knew Malyk was a Dragon - his pointed ears, sharp teeth, and almond-shaped eyes gave it away - but as long as he kept to himself and stayed in Human form, they wouldn't say anything.

'They’re so terrified of Dragons, they won’t even give me a chance, for fear I might suddenly decide to flame-broil them.' He had hated these Humans since day one. He glanced down, and his eyes rested on the brand on his shoulder, shaped like a Human with Dragon's wings - the symbol of an Aldryn. With a pang of guilt, he realized that his Dragon brethren were more or less the same as these ignorant Humans. The brand signified that he was no longer considered a part of the Dragon tribes, exiled forever.

'I'm no better than a lowsy Aldryn…'

He pulled on his cloak and stepped outside to stare off at the horizon, in the direction he knew his beloved Tundara Mountains lay. Sighing again, Malyk turned around, and stopped short.

'What in the world......?' Hovering in the sky behind his house, in addition to the sun already shining, the moon stood out bright and clear. Normally, this would not have been too strange an occurrence, but today, it was about twelve times its normal size, and shaded a light pink. Malyk blinked and rubbed his eyes. Still there.

'Okay, I'm finally losing my mind,' he thought, and turned to go back inside.


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Post by Rust Fri May 22, 2009 5:23 pm

Blows my story out of the water D=

I have nothing to say other than "You better write more, nao!"

^_^
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Post by Zhan Dathka Sat May 23, 2009 3:35 am

Shifting Sands (Working Title) 1242941730289

NAOW
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Post by Amano Murokumone Sat May 23, 2009 2:44 pm

Ga'damn it, Zhan. XD


But yes, Smith. As I've already typed your ear off about it, you should really keep this up. No fucking giving up, this time. (compared to?...)

It's just a good, good story. I wanna know more. NOA BRING MOAR CAKE STORY!!
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Post by BSmith Sun May 24, 2009 7:25 pm

Chapter 2 PART 1

(Part 2 will be posted.... when it is written. XD)


The village, when they found it, was in shambles. The marks on the ground made it painfully obvious that the horsemen had ridden straight through the camp.

“Lucha, I’m... I’m sorry.” The Aldryn watched with watering eyes as the Rahkal girl solemnly strode through the burning wreck that had been her village just two hours prior. Corpses of both Rahkal and the mysterious raiders were strewn among the rubble. Khalise took a moment to examine their foes. Their armor was strange, to say the least. All black, badly scuffed, and not an emblem or marking on any of them. There was no uniform look to them, either - asymmetrical wedges of what could have been obsidian stuck out at odd angles, and chips of metal were wedged chaotically into the plating. It looked as though none of them ever bothered to wash the blood from their armor or weapons.

Among the dead were the bodies of a few hulking wyverns, which surprised Khalise more than anything else: there were no archers in the Rahkal village. He smiled faintly as he imagined big bad Fuers staring down an onrushing wyvern, his ungainly battle axe ready for a decapitating vertical blow.

‘The poor fools didn’t realize what they were getting into when they came here...’

He began to scavenge for what supplies he could find among the wreckage, specifically some of the healing herbs he knew the Rahkals always kept in supply. He found some inside the smoldering ruins of a hut and gingerly applied them to the gash in the back of his knee. It stung, but Khalise knew from experience that the herbs would do wonders in helping the wound close.

As he exited the hut, a soft sobbing noise reached his ears, and he picked his way around the rubble and the bodies to where Lucha sat, tears streaming down her face. Khalise cringed as he realized the ravaged hut she had collapsed in front of was her house. She looked up as Khalise approached and shook her head.

“Mother...”

Khalise bowed his head. Pyna had been the kindest person Khalise had ever known; she didn’t deserve such a fate.

“Come on Lucha, she deserves a proper burial at least.”

*****


Ten minutes later, the two stood at the head of a hastily-dug grave, a makeshift wooden cross sticking out of the desolate ground. Neither said anything, they both simply stood there as the wind whipped sand against their faces and the smoke from the burning village stung their eyes. Khalise looked over at Lucha and noticed her tear-streaked face begin to flush red. Her clenched fists were trembling, but she wasn’t crying. With a sudden resolve, she lifted her head and stared into Khalise’s silvery eyes.

“I hate them, Khalise. I don’t even know who they are, but I hate them. They’re murderers! How dare they come here? My people were always peaceful!!”

“I know,” the Aldryn said, putting his hand on Lucha’s shoulder. “I promise you, I won’t let them get away with this.”

“Father is still out there,” she said suddenly, “I just know it.”

Khalise nodded. “He’s still out there, and he’s still fighting.” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, extending his consciousness again. He still could not sense the mysterious raiders, but there was a frenzy of activity to the east. “Lucha. I feel something... It’s coming from the Khas-Kavan village. I sense fighting - your father and the other survivors might be there.”

She stared at him, a cold hard stare. He knew what she was thinking, so in response he turned and strode into the remains of the Rahkal village. He emerged a moment later holding a worn shortsword, an oak bow, and a bundle of the riders’ arrows. He thrust them all into Lucha’s arms.

“I’m not like your father, Lucha; I’m not going to tell you not to fight. I know you can use those.” He smirked as he saw a flash of confidence in the young woman’s eyes. “But that doesn’t give you permission to be reckless, understand? I want you to stay near me at all times.” She nodded.

Now it was Lucha’s turn to dash into the ruined village. She reappeared decked out in the traditional leather armor of her tribe. The suit was a little big on her, but she wore it well nonetheless. With her new sword holstered at her waist and the quiver of arrows on her back, she looked like a true Rahkal warrior.

Khalise smiled at the sight, then transformed and signaled Lucha to climb onto his back.

~Let’s go. If Fuers is still alive and fighting alongside the Khas-Kavans, he’s going to need our help - soon.~

*****


Malyk was making his weekly trip into town when it happened. He preferred to avoid contact with Humans as much as possible, but he did have basic needs. Most of the Humans avoided him as well, and he was fine with that. A young child naively asked if he had seen the moon that morning. Malyk just kept walking. He was in the process of examining a watermelon when a strange sound emanated from the far west. Dragon ears being much more sensitive than a Human’s, he picked it up long before anyone else. It was a thunderous rumbling, like the sound of a thousand horses stampeding. He shrugged it off for the moment, but it quickly grew louder and louder until it was no longer ignorable.

By the time the rest of Delios became aware of the noise, it was too late. There was a shrill cry, and Malyk looked up in surprise to see that the sound did, in fact, belong to a thousand horses stampeding. Possibly even more than that. They came like a flood, sweeping over the city and leaving nothing in their wake. Malyk and the rest of the townspeople dove for whatever cover they could find as the riders unleashed their destruction upon whatever happened to be in their way, be it Human, animal, or building. Screams rent the midmorning air as burning arrows shot from their bows flew overhead, igniting whatever they touched, as if the flames of Hell itself fueled their fury.

Then the wyverns. They came rocketing overhead, a shrieking mass of winged terror. In an instant, the city was engulfed. Watermelons exploded into the air as the cart Malyk was sheltered behind was overturned, sending him and two others scrambling to find new cover.

Malyk’s mind was reeling. Who were these people? And what did they have against Delios? He shook his head; it didn’t matter. They were attacking, that’s all there was to it. Seeing no place to hide, he turned and dashed back towards his house, only to watch as a flaming arrow sank into its roof. Within seconds, Malyk’s home for the past twenty-seven years was engulfed in flames and billowing smoke. He skidded to a stop in front of the fire.

“THAT was the wrong move!!” he screamed at no one in particular before ripping off his traveling cloak and tossing it aside, where it flew off in the wind behind him and was speared by a passing wyvern. With a mighty roar, Malyk did what he had vowed never to do again. Wings erupted from his back as his neck elongated in what looked to be a painful transformation. His blue hair shrank back into his scalp, bright blue scales appearing in its place, popping up all over his body until he was covered in them. His muscles bulged and his nails sharpened into claws as he began to grow in height until he towered over the Humans scurrying around him. A giant, thrashing tail grew out from his tailbone as his mouth extended itself into a snout. With a sickening crack, his spine separated and dorsal spines erupted from his back, shredding what was left of his clothing.

Malyk collapsed onto one knee as the transformation completed, then instantly stood again, flapped his wings twice, and took off into the sky, belching fire as he went, hell-bent on exacting revenge on the mysterious raiders who had destroyed his home.
BSmith
BSmith

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Post by Rust Wed Jun 03, 2009 5:11 pm

wtf are these raider people D=

I like it. It needs more comments and more Part 2 plz
Rust
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